Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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