Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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