My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
