i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
