he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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