put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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