u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I have post one night stand depression
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
