It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
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