i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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