Can Purell be used as lube?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
This is my gift to your gina
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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