So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
