I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
