Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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