what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
The air taste purple.
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