I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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