i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
