forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
