so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
