Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
