Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
