I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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