ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
