I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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