Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
