You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
