people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
