when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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