She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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