You're my little dorito
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
