sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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