imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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