I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
