...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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