i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
