do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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