I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
