there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
