Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
