I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Randomize
