Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
