I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
