Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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