I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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