I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
