U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
