Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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