Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
