Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
