you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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