In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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