Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
